How can I help myself?
It's great to be able to help yourself when you're not feeling so great, or use some resources independently.
Anger and emotional regulation
Aggressive behaviour starts from a feeling of intense emotion (like anger, fear, annoyance or frustration). It may be verbal or physical and as such, can be emotionally and physically harmful to another person. Examples include hitting, pinching, swearing, saying something mean, biting or scratching. Most young children will show aggressive behaviour at times, and it is a normal part of child development. Sometimes the feeling of being angry is justified – a young child may have had their toy stolen or feel left out, or they may feel anxious or in need of attention. The difficulty is they cannot process this feeling, and that is where the adult comes in.
A child needs an adult to help them to find ways to understand and express their difficult feelings. If a child feels anger very strongly, but hasn’t yet learnt what it is, it is likely to feel both unpleasant and overwhelming. Adults can help them understand the feeling and make it manageable without a behaviour (verbal or physical) that will hurt them or others. Our role as adults in the child’s life is to help to moderate and contain these feelings, and this in turn then leads to the aggression decreasing as the feelings become less overwhelming.
Young children may also not yet understand that their behaviour can hurt others, or they may not yet be empathic for the upset or pain they’re causing. Thoughtful, caring adults can support children to learn and feel safe enough to think of others.
Videos
Websites
MindEd Hub — Provides free e-learning resources to support families and professionals.
Anxiety
We all feel anxious from time to time. Day-to-day things like friendship, money, exams or work can cause anxiety. Or certain situations, such as travelling home at night, starting a new school or giving a presentation. But the feeling usually passes once we feel safe or solve the problem we had. Generally the worries stop and we’re able to carry on with our lives.
Anxiety is when you feel scared, worried or panicked about something. It’s a normal, human feeling and your body’s natural response to stress or danger. Anyone can experience anxiety, regardless of age, gender, race, culture or faith.
Videos
Websites
Apps
Chill Panda — Reducing anxiety and improving well being in children through a fun gaming app
ASD - Learning difficulty
Learning disability specific resources
Challenging Behaviour Foundation — The Challenging Behaviour Foundation (CBF) is a registered charity that was founded in 1997 by Vivien Cooper OBE, the parent of a child with severe learning disabilities whose behaviour challenges. They are the only charity focussed specifically on children, young people and adults with severe learning disabilities whose behaviour challenges.
The Foundation for People with Learning Disabilities — Part of the London South Bank University. They help to make things better for people with learning disabilities, one of the area’s they concentrate on is health and well being. They work with:
- people with learning disabilities
- families
- carers
- local authorities
- service providers
Mencap — A charity that give advice on a variety of different things including health and wellbeing for everyone with a learning disability.
Winston's Wish — Bereavement support for children with SEND.
IPSEA — Independent Provider of Special Education Advice
Bereavement and loss
Bereavement is the period following the loss of someone important to you.
This can cause you to feel a range of different emotions. These emotions can affect you mentally and physically..
You might have heard the term ‘grief’ before. Grief is a natural response following a bereavement and is a way of adjusting to the loss of someone, whether it be a family member, friend or a pet.
For young people this can be an extremely difficult period and there is no right or wrong way to feel. It’s important that you allow yourself time and space to grieve and to come to terms with a loss.
Remember that everyone deals with and experiences grief in different ways.
The range of emotions you might experience may include:
- sadness
- shock
- depression
- abandonment
- fear
- anger
- relief
- nothing at all
Bullying and cyber bullying
Bullying and cyberbullying can mean lots of different things. It can happen anywhere, including online, at school or at home.
Bullying can include:
- posting, commenting on or liking nasty photos, videos or posts about you online
- being called names, teased or humiliated
- being pushed, hit or hurt
- having money and other stuff stolen
- spreading rumours or starting group chats about you
- being ignored, left out or made to feel like you're not wanted
- being threatened, intimidated or sent nasty messages
- trolling you or commenting on your posts or pictures saying nasty things
- someone revealing personal details without your permission
- targeting you over and over again in an online game
Videos
Websites
Depression, low mood
Lots of people feel low sometimes, but when someone’s depressed those feelings can carry on for months or even longer.
Depression is a mood disorder that makes someone feel down all the time and stops them from being able to enjoy their life. Depression can have a big effect on you, but you’re not alone. There are lots of ways to get support, cope and start to feel better.
Videos
Websites
NHS - Depression in children and young people
Apps
Loneliness
It’s normal to feel lonely sometimes, or to experience feelings of isolation. If you feel this way, it doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you. There is support available, and things you can do to help with this feeling.
Anybody can experience loneliness regardless of age, gender, race, sexuality or anything else. If loneliness is affecting you and your mental health, remember there is support out there and there are things you can do to help.
Loneliness is not a mental health problem, but it can start to affect our mental health. Experiences of loneliness can make us feel sad, depressed, or give us feelings of low self-esteem. Having a mental health problem can also make you more likely to experience loneliness. Sometimes, if we are already struggling with our mental health, it can feel difficult for us to interact with loved ones in the way we usually do. This can then make us feel isolated and lonely when we didn’t feel this way before. But life doesn’t have to be this way; if you’re feeling lonely, there are things you can do to feel better.
Websites
Anna Freud — Supporting children and young people with depression
Food and your body
Everyone has a different relationship with food and eating, but if yours is taking over your life, then you might have an eating problem. But you’re not alone; we have advice and information on where you can get help and support.
Videos
Websites
Young Minds — What to do if you are experiencing eating problems
Exam stress
It’s normal to feel stressed and worried about exams. Stress is your body’s natural response to pressure. While it can help you focus and feel motivated to get things done, sometimes it can feel hard to manage.
Exam stress can affect anyone and it can show up in different ways. For example, you might:
- feel anxious or depressed
- feel irritable and angry
- struggle to sleep
- notice changes to your eating habits
- have negative thoughts about yourself
- worry about the future
- lose interest in the things you enjoy
- struggle to focus and concentrate
- feel unwell – for example, you might get headaches, feel sick or tired
You might experience symptoms of stress that aren’t listed here, and that’s okay. We are all different and cope with stress and pressure in different ways.
If you notice any of these feelings or you’re worried that exam pressure is taking over your life, you are not alone.
Videos
Websites
The MIX — Pressure to do well and be better in exams
Gov.uk — Coping with exam pressure
NHS — Help your child beat exam stress
Apps
LGBTQ+
Your experiences with your sexuality or your gender may affect your mental health. For some, this can be a confusing or difficult time, but it doesn’t always have to be this way. Here's some information and advice to help.
Videos
Websites
Barnardo's — LGBT+ young people
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) is an anxiety-related mental health condition. It can affect anybody, regardless of age, gender, race, religion or anything else.
Although it can be serious and affect your daily life, it is treatable.
There are two main parts to OCD:
- ‘Obsessions’ – These are unwanted and intrusive thoughts, images, impulses, worries, doubts or feelings that cause anxiety and distress.
- ‘Compulsions’ - These are behaviours or rituals that people with OCD carry out to try to stop the obsession.
Carrying out compulsions can bring short-term relief. It might feel like they are helping in the moment, but the relief is always short lived. Sooner or later, the urge to repeat the compulsions returns. Some people with OCD find that the anxiety never really goes away, even if they carry out the compulsions.
This can create a vicious cycle of obsessions and compulsions that can feel hard to break. It can take up lots of time and cause real anxiety and distress. This can get in the way of important things like sleeping, studying and socialising.
But remember, help is available and things can get better.
Videos
Websites
Young Minds - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
The MIX - Anxiety OCS & Phobias
Apps
Chill Panda — Reducing anxiety and improving well being in children through a fun gaming app
Struggling with family
Family can be there for you and be a huge support for your mental health. But things between you and your family may not always be easy. If you're struggling with your family, we have information and advice that can help.
Family can be there for you through the good and bad times. You might love spending time with them and have great memories of growing up. They can also be a huge support for your mental health. Family can be there to listen when you need to talk, help you understand your thoughts and what support you need, or spend time with you so that you don’t feel alone.
But we know that every family is different. Things with you and your family may not always be easy or straightforward. And not getting along with them can make life tough. But whatever is going on between you and your family, we have information and advice that can help.
Videos
Websites
Anna Freud — Parents in conflict or separating
Gingerbread — Support for single parents
NSPCC — Helping your child cope with your divorce or separation
School attendance issues
If your child is anxious about school, or they are unable to go to school, we have advice on supporting them and working with the school and other services.
Videos
Websites
Self harm
Self-harm is when you intentionally cause harm to yourself as a way of dealing with difficult feelings, traumatic experiences or memories, neglect, or situations that you find overwhelming. People sometimes self-harm when life feels hard to cope with.
Self-harm can look different for different people. You might find yourself doing things which are harmful, but not think of them as ‘self-harm’. But that doesn’t make your experience any less valid.
Videos
Websites
Self care
‘Self-care’ is a phrase you’ve probably come across, but what does it really mean?
Judging by what we see in adverts or on social media, we might think it’s all about candles, yoga and luxury bath bombs. We might think it costs a lot of money and takes a lot of time. And we might feel like it isn’t for us. But is that really what it's all about?
In its simplest form, self-care is just the little things we do to look after our own mental health. It’s about trying to listen to how we are feeling and understanding what we need, even if it’s difficult, so we can care for ourselves.
This could mean taking a timeout when we're feeling overwhelmed; it could mean making time to do an activity that we know makes us feel good; or it could be as simple as making sure to do the basics like eating and sleeping well when we're struggling.
Videos
Websites
Trauma and abuse (PTSD)
Experiencing difficult events is a part of life, and it’s normal to struggle with how you feel afterwards. Most of the time we will move on and feel better fairly quickly. However, when something really distressing happens that leaves us feeling terrified, helpless and unable to cope, it can have a significant, long-term effect on our emotional wellbeing. This is called trauma.
Trauma can be the result of a one-off event, a series of events, or an ongoing situation. You can experience trauma even if you weren’t directly involved in the event - for example, if you witness something bad happen.
There is an idea that for something to be traumatic, it has to be really extreme, like fighting in a war. But this isn’t the case.
Sometimes trauma can be a ‘small’ thing that has left a big impact on how you think, feel or act – even if for another person that thing might seem insignificant. For example, if a teacher called you ‘stupid’, that could be traumatic for you if, as a result, you start to struggle with negative feelings about yourself.
Trauma can also be the result of things that build up over time. For example, a family member constantly criticising you or saying mean things to you can amount to trauma.